Weightloss Wednesday #9

Can we just take a second to realize how hard BBQ season is for "dieters"? There are tons of healthy options, but when all your friends are eating burgers, you probably don't really want that grilled chicken breast with caesar salad easy on the dressing. We have friends over a lot. And they like burgers. And hot dogs. And potatoes. So my challenge for the next few weeks will be to always have something healthy prepped, and to indulge in moderation. Maybe instead of a burger and half a smokie, I'll opt for half a burger ans half a chicken breast. With veggies! Something I've really been loving is this hot cabbage "slaw" that my cousin and I concocted (recipe, anyone?). SO yummy! I've also been trying to pound back as much water as possible (really hard, scary, and risky for somebody with a bladder that holds about 1 tablespoon of water before I'm dancing to the washroom), aiming for at least 2L a day, plus two cups of homemade iced green tea. We haven't been going to the gym as often, but we have been doing our best to be active. Going to the dog park has been our fave since the weather has been perfect- not hot, not cold, perfect spring weather (except for the foot of snow we had dumped on us today).

So anyways, I've set a few goals for myself this week:
- Keep it up with the water. 2L of beautiful, clear, clean water a day.
-GO TO THE GYM.
-Try to stop craving (or at least giving in to) ice cream.

I don't have all that much to write about this week to be completely honest with you, but I did find this really cool photo idea where you make a collage of a few beautiful parts of your body. So here it is!

Starting Weight-250.6 lbs
Current Weight- 243.4 lbs
Total Lost- 7.2 lbs

Weightloss Wednesday #8

This week has been much better than the last two. Not perfect, but better! And that's all I'm striving for. Perfect is boring and unrealistic. I am so proud of what I have done so far in these past couple months. I haven't experienced a HUGE weight loss but I've started being more active (something I've dreaded for as long as I can remember), I've taught myself and learned some healthier recipes, and for the most part, I've cut processed, packaged "food" and sugars. I see a big difference in the items we put in our shopping cart, and we barely even grab anything in the actual aisles. Trying to stick to the "avoid the aisles" rule- where we mostly pick up items from the parameter of the store- produce, deli, and bakery (for Kyle). We're eating foods that can actually GO BAD. And overall, I feel so much more happy and lively. More motivated, and more grateful for my life.

Something else I've noticed is that I've stopped seeking out "plus-sized models" on Instagram, trying to find confidence in the beauty I see in these women. Thinking "these women are so beautiful", "it's totally possible to be a chubby babe", or "maybe this is how people see me". Let me clear that up- I still see beauty when I look at these women, I just feel my interests have naturally evolved as I started making this lifestyle change. I now find myself following fitness accounts, personal trainers, and real live women that have worked off incredible amounts of weight, naturally. A couple of the ladies I have found extra motivating and totally REAL, which just adds fuel to my fitness fire, are @emifitness and @fighting2getfit. I love posts about how your legs look fab when you're laying on your bed and lifting them in the air, or about how a good choice was made by opting for a smoothie instead of Chick-fil-a like the rest of the family, and obviously, I love progress pictures! All of these are things I've found in these strong, beautiful ladies and I am so grateful to have stumbled across and been inspired by them.

I know that in any health-related journey weight loss is only part of the excitement. There is so much more to the way we look that experiences change for the better, although because of the society we live in, weight loss is the most noticeable and measurable result. This can be discouraging for somebody trying to make a huge change. Which is why I like to reflect on the mental and emotional changes I experience right here, every Wednesday. Our mental health is SO IMPORTANT and I truly believe that having a compromised mental state is just as serious as a compromised physical state. Thankfully, physical fitness and health go hand-in-hand with mental health (yay!). 

Start Weight- 250.6 lbs

Current Weight- 243.6lbs

Total Lost- 7lbs

Weightloss Wednesday # 6+7

These past couple weeks have been fairly uneventful in the weight loss world. I caught a really bad cold, tried my best to continue going to the gym, and unfortunately I had to take a break, due to congestion, exhaustion, and how painful it was to breathe the super dry air in the gym. Granted, that was my excuse for the first week I've been MIA. Second week is a mixture of being scared to start a workout and not being able to finish because I'm in pain and feeling super yucky, and of pure laziness. Don't get me wrong, I tried to keep myself moving in other ways, mainly yardwork, and I could go to the gym now, but haven't. I think I will tomorrow. As far as the eating goes, first week (when I was sick) was good! Trying to cram in my veggies, and a lot of limiting of other things. Second week, life happened and we have been a little stressed out and not worrying so much about our diet. Which isn't a good excuse, but that's all I've got! I feel really guilty about how I've been treating my body the past couple weeks (how much progress could I have made if I wasn't so bad?!), but I try to remember that I am making a LONG TERM lifestyle change, and that nobody can be eating and exercising properly every dang day of their lives. It's not realistic. And I'm human. A human trying to make a big change. So I'm letting go of my guilt trip. Part of this journey is learning my limits, learning to balance my health, and being gentle with myself. So I'm going to do something a little different from talking about all my struggles ans cheats and successes this week. Today, I am going to share a very personal look at the marks, curves, colours, and textures that I have GROWN TO LOVE and find comfort in allowing myself to do so.

FIRST THINGS FIRST!
Start Weight- 250.6 lbs
Current Weight- 246.2 lbs
Total Lost- 4.4 lbs

Before I share these photos, I ask you to remember how much courage it takes for me to be able to share these on the very unapologetic internet. And I ask that this remains positive, loving, and supportive. These are not parts of my body that I have always loved, but parts that I have learned to love.

As I look at these photos, I just feel so blessed to be able to call this MY body. No, it's not perfect. Yes, it needs some TLC. But the way my stretchmarks shine in the light and tell such an intimate story of my past, and how they work perfectly with the marks I have chosen to put on my skin, the words and images that I decided were worthy of a permanent place on my body, that's who I am. The dimple on the back of my knee, and the curvy lines my legs create, that's me too. The extra bundling I carry with me, especially on my tummy, is something I'm sentimental about and am honestly wanting to keep a little of. I feel there is something very feminine and maternal about it, and I want my future children to be able to find comfort against (some of) it.

With the mood I'm in right now, I could go on and on about the feelings I have towards my body. Instead of going on and on about it, I challenge you to find a few things on your body that you love and would never want to completely part with. LOVE YOURSELF, life is more fun that way!

Weightloss Wednesday #5- One Month!

One month in and this past week has been the hardest one yet. I can blame it on Easter, or the long weekend, seeing friends daily, or the fact that Kyle has been home, but there are no excuses for the level of cheat we've reached this week. I don't even want to think back and list all the terrible decisions we've made, but to name a few- donairs (twice), french fries, and something called "The Kitchen Sink" which I will leave to your imagination, so I don't trigger you and send you out to go get one. On top of it all, we haven't hit the gym nearly as much as we should have. I guess you could say this week was a bust.

SILVER LININGS
-We know what we have done, we know there are consequences, and we are STILL COMMITTED to working on our healthy lifestyle
-I was told that I looked like I was losing weight and to keep doing whatever I was doing
-I got Kyle to try a roasted chickpea. My love is very picky and doesn't like to try new foods. My roasted chickpeas smelled so good that I was able to convince him. It's the little things.
- I have totally broken the bad snacks and TV habit. I used to "need" to eat while I watched TV. It was always sugary or fried, and I would watch WAY more TV than I do now. Bad equation.

I am very happy that despite the terrible week we subjected ourselves to, there are still positives that I can reflect on and be proud of.

Okay, here's the moment of truth- weekly weigh in and monthly measurements (ughhh satisfying accidental alliteration).

Starting Weight- 250.6lbs
Current Weight- 245.4lbs
Total Lost- 5.2 lbs

Arm- 40cm (+1cm)
Bust-125cm (+2cm)
Waist-107cm (+4.5cm)
Hips- 133cm (+1.5cm)
Thigh- 77.25cm (-.05cm)
Knee- 42.2cm (+.9cm)
Calf- 46.5cm  (+1.5cm)
Ankle- 25cm (-.3cm)

Well, that's disappointing. I have been working really hard at becoming a more healthy person and (aside from this last week) I thought I was doing pretty well. I wonder if a person could gain in their measurements based on water weight, or how much "that time of the month" can affect those things. I may try measurements again 2 weeks from now to see if anything changes, but we'll see. I'm interested to see what another month will bring. Now that we got all that crappy eating out of our systems, we should be able to better commit ourselves and cheat less within the next few weeks!

Aaaand, a little ecard humour to brighten the mood and lift my own spirits. Be good to yourself and don't eat kitchen sinks!

Weightloss Wednesday #4

Here I am- almost a month into this journey and still going strong! When I started this, I definitely didn't think it would be this (for the lack of a better word) easy for me to keep up with the lifestyle change, and I would have been very surprised and I almost wouldn't believe you if you told me how well I would be doing a month from then. This sounds bad, like I don't have a lot of faith in myself. Mind you, if you actually knew how many times I've tried to do this and given up way too soon, you would understand where I'm coming from. One time, I didn't even last through the sugar withdrawal. So yes, I'm very proud of myself today. I think a huge part of my so-far success is due to the support of my friends and family (especially Kyle, who is doing this alongside me), the fact that I'm not being super strict about what I eat (I'm making healthy choices and eating well, but if I NEED an ice cream cone, I'll treat myself. And maaaaybe even with a low-fat frozen yogurt!), and finally, I am being HONEST. Here, with my loved ones, and with myself. Honestly, I don't really care how fast this weight drops off, as long as I do my best to get healthy and I see some progress.

I've been really good this week. minimal cheats, happy and satisfied with the foods I'm eating, and giving myself time to focus on other things when I need to. For example, I had a busy few days and I took 3 days off of the gym. Which- might I add, caused my water weight to drop and I discovered that I ACTUALLY lost 13lbs! Of course, I'm back at the gym and my water weight has returned, but whatever! See if I care! I am elated with my progress and how good I feel. Even though I haven't noticed any physical changes (measurements will be included in next week's WLW post and on a monthly basis), the biggest change I see  is the way I look at myself. I don't remember the last time I hated what I saw in the mirror, or the last time I told myself I was fat or ugly or unworthy of love and acceptance. Which unfortunately, used to be a regular occurrence. Sadly, I recall a time last summer where I was trying to get dressed, I wasn't happy with how I looked in anything I owned, and I was so frustrated ans ashamed of myself that I was bawling and screaming, begging Kyle to turn away and not look at me. As horrible as it is to feel that bad about yourself, I can only imagine the pain Kyle felt watching me melt down and abuse myself when (knowing how kind and positive and accepting he is) all he saw was the woman he loves hating herself for no reason.

Okay, enough of the heavy heavies. I am past all of that (for now, but hopefully forever) and I couldn't be happier. So without further adieu, I present to you- my weigh in!

Start Weight: 250.6 lbs
Current Weight: 246.4 lbs
Total Lost: 4.2 lbs

Yay! I feel so good, I couldn't care less what those numbers read anyways! Okay, I would care if I was back to 250 or *gulp* even MORE! But I'm not so I'll be over there dancing my happy little heart out if you need me -->.

Weight Loss Wednesday (on Thursday) #3

This week was a bit of a struggle.  I've been busy juggling my life and because I'm so tired and lazy by the end of the day, I've been letting my meal prep and healthy eating suffer. Being more lenient on what I put in my mouth. Wonderful boyfriend and I went for dinner before he left for work for 10 days, and I had a burger and fries (BUT, no pop!). I couldn't finish it all, which used to be no problem for me so that's good! And we went for sandwiches twice when we couldn't be bothered to cook. The last time I weighed myself (before today), I had gained weight so I've been scared of the scale and mad at myself for cheating. I know weight fluctuates, and I know I'm not a robot and humans aren't perfect but I can't help being a little heartbroken when I see that number rise.

SOME GOOD THINGS THAT I'VE NOTICED AND BEEN WORKING ON:
-Drinking WAY more water. I'm aiming for 2L a day, finding the first litre super easy to guzzle down, and struggling with the second.
-I'm going to the gym as often as possible. If I force myself to the point of exhaustion, I will dread going and it won't happen at all.
-I no longer gravitate to the junky foods in the grocery store. I've accepted the fact that I just can't have those things anymore (although, I may never accept the fact that I can't eat as many French fries and poutines as I used to). **ALSO, I needed to break a $20 at the convenience store earlier and it took me a super long time to decide what to buy because I didn't even WANT anything in there!
- I've become much more busy and less sedentary. Which is good physically, but I feel like my mental health needs some  time where I can lay on the couch and reenact a slug.

Now that I've confessed my slips and acknowledged the good that I've worked on and experienced this week, it's time to get down to the nitty-gritty. My current weight is 246.4. Which means I'm up 2.8lbs from last week, and down 4.2lbs total. Honestly, as I was weighing myself during the week, I was disappointed and discouraged by the weight gain. Now as I think about it, I'm reminding myself that I'm taking in waaaayyy more water daily than I have before, AND I'm working out regularly. People almost always gain weight when they start working out! It's still frustrating that I don't have that "super close to 10lb weight loss" excitement to think about as I choose what to eat every day, but I'm trying not to get hung up on it because I'm doing SO GOOD. I've tried many, many times to lose weight over the years, and it has NEVER, EVER felt so effortless for me to stick with it and accept it as a new lifestyle. The time is NOW and it's happening! And I couldn't be more happy about that.

Start weight- 250.6lbs
Today's weight- 246.4lbs
Total loss- 4.2lbs

Weight Loss Wednesday #2

I have completed the first week of my journey to better health and in all the times I've tried to start this journey, I have never felt so motivated and determined and like "this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now", ever. I'm going to be straight up and tell you right off the bat that I "cheated" a couple times; when it was late and easier to go out and grab something, and when I was super jealous of my boyfriend's post oral surgery ice cream diet. BUT- I didn't eat nearly as much as I would have two weeks ago, and I'm still proud of myself for that. I no longer have the "go big or go home" attitude for cheating that would throw me way off course. I'm doing good.
Although, the first few days of this journey weren't so great. As I was detoxing from my sugar and fat diet, I was almost positive I wasn't going to make it to see the next day (okay, maybe a little dramatic). I felt as if I had the worst sunstroke of all time though. Cry-worthy headaches, level 1000 nausea, shaking to the point of vibration, and super frustrating insomnia. I was experiencing withdrawal and I felt terrible.

THINGS THAT HELPED ME AT THIS TIME
-Fruit smoothies (natural sugars are good sugars!)
-Drinking TONS of water (duh)
-The best pain relieving ointment ever (recommended by a very nice lady at a nearby Asian supermarket)
-Hot baths in the dark
-Thinking about NEVER HAVING TO DO IT AGAIN!

Thinking back on all of this, it feels like forever ago. I'm not sure if it's because my little family (including my cousin/main support system's little family) just endured a really tough week, or because I've been working so hard to come up with a variation to my diet. *Discovery- I looooove avocado!
After the first week of the rest of my life, I am proud to announce I have lost 7 POUNDS!

Starting weight-250.6lbs
Current weight-243.6lbs
Total lost- 7lbs!

As I am going to be sharing a lot of my favourite healthy recipes, I'm including a free recipe card printable for you to print, copy, and use as much as you'd like- whether it's for a healthier recipe that you find here at Nesting Doll at Home, or for someone else's grandmother's chocolate cake recipe (jealous). Enjoy!

Weight Loss Wednesday

(Posted Late Thursday night because life happened. Twice.)

Last week I stepped on the scale, only to come to an eye-opening realization- I have gained 100lbs since high school. That's 100 pounds in 6 years. Not good. This realization was the final push needed to decide I'm actually going to commit to the change my poor body had been waiting for. I owe this to myself for thinking all those terrible thoughts about how I look, and for mistreating my body for so long. I want my future children to have happy, healthy parents that can play with them and be able to keep up. I don't want to buy ill-fitting, plus size pants just to bring them home and alter them so I can feel somewhat comfortable in my clothes (if I'm even feeling brave enough to go shopping and face the disappointment of walking out with nothing or going up a size).

I remember a few years back when I couldn't try on clothes without crying silently to myself in the change room. Thinking back on this today (a totally repressed memory brought back to life as I started writing this post), I wish I could go back and hug that girl as she tried on too-small clothes and cried. Because time travel is currently impossible, the only thing I can do for her is give her a healthy future and fit her into some dang cute clothes! I am finally going to commit myself to a healthy, active lifestyle. So to hold myself accountable and hopefully inspire others to join me on this journey, I'm going to dedicate my Wednesday blog posts to my progress, my highs and lows, things that worked very well for me, and confessions about caving and eating that donair and french fries I had been longing for. I have only been at this since Sunday so I'm going to save all that for next week, but here are my current stats:

Starting Weight:  250.6lbs
Current Weight: 246.2

Ankle- 25.3cm
Calf- 45cm
Knee- 41.3cm
Thigh- 77.3cm
Hip- 131.5cm
Waist- 102.5cm
Bust- 123cm
Arm- 39cm

I wasn't going to share all this personal (and rather embarrassing) information publicly until I had lost a significant amount of weight, because I somehow think I would feel less naked and exposed if it was further in the past. BUT, how can I inspire you guys if I'm not straight up? IT IS WHAT IT IS! The whole point of this journey is to be healthy and to not feel ashamed of my body. Well, why the heck do I feel ashamed? My body paints, it cooks, it takes care of people, it gives hugs, it hurts, it feels, it loves! I am so lucky to have been born with a body that works the way it does, so I'm cancelling the pity party and going to go paint my nails so I can't eat the potato chips I'm craving :)

Please help yourself to this free printable I created to help inspire you guys to join me on this HEALTH JOURNEY!